an angel’s funeral
payton polanco
I breathed you in,
and I wondered if virtue
tastes as sweet as the sin
that danced between our tongues.
I don’t know if I would call what you did
tainting my purity,
but the darkness you left in your wake
cannot be mistaken for shadows;
it does not change with the sun.
Instead it is engraved in my soul,
your name written underneath my skin
over and over
with every time I whispered it
into the silence.
I don’t know if I will ever
be able to forget the way
my lips curled around the letters
like a gentle caress.
I forgot prayer
until I rewrote what I learned
in church to worship you.
I can’t remember
what I’m supposed to say
to summon the angels,
but I had the devil
beneath my fingertips.
Sometimes when I look in the mirror
I still see your handprints on my hips,
the shape burned into my spirit.
Even though the marks you left
are long gone, the outline rests
in my vision. Maybe it’s nothing
more than a trick of the light.
But somehow, I found paradise
when I lost myself in your touch.
I used to think heaven
was something you reach
when you die, and maybe it is.
Maybe I reached it
as I prayed your name
at the funeral of my innocence.
Some of the highlights of my career... 1 nationally recognized poetry award; 22 regional creative writing awards; 1 self-published book; 1 published short story... Interning at The Writer's Circle, an intensive that focuses on helping teen writers hone their craft and further develop their writing... Several in-person poetry readings in conjunction with local organizations... Working to obtain a B.A. in English with a Literature focus... Reading and revising peer essays and creative work alike. As for me as a person, my name is Payton Polanco (she/her). I love coffee, sunrises I always seem to miss, and traveling to places that I forever want to go back to. I am an emerging writer just trying to get her words into this world.